Happy Mommy Monday mamas!
I always say happy because most of the time I am happy. I have been getting many emails and direct messages about how I always keep it together and how I’m happy all the time.
I wanted to clear things up.
I am a happy person and for the most part love to smile, but I’ve definitely had my moments since having my baby girl.
First off, everyone had told me about postpartum and I honestly shrugged it off and was like okay that’s some moms and I’m not like that.
Well, ha! Go figure, here I am to tell you that’s not true.
I have been feeling my emotions come in waves.
Up and down, the highest of highs and lowest of lows. I love Amelia Rei to pieces but I have so many moments by myself where I feel like what am I doing, I hate how I look, I hate how I feel, when will I feel like me again? These questions go through me constantly.
This weekend we went to the pool to take Amelia for her first dip. First thing that went through my mind was ugh I hate how I look in a swimsuit right now. Nothing fits right. Everyone keeps telling me how amazing I look, which I appreciate but I don’t feel it. Nothing fits the same anymore.
My stomach is taking forever to go down from my c section and it’s really weighing on me.
On top of that, I’m shedding so much weight from breast feeding 🤱 but I can’t seem to get my stomach where I want cause all I do is eat 🙃.
And I have moments where I’m like what is going on?! Ugh!! And then I look at my baby and it all washes away.
This has now become a constant fight for me daily of fighting with my emotions and hormones.
I don’t feel pretty enough to feel confident and comfortable with my husband to be intimate right now, so that’s been really hard.
My husband is amazing and so supportive and tells me I’m beautiful but I just have so many moments where I don’t feel it.
Then I’ll have a day where I look in the mirror and I’m like omg I feel like me today and I feel good and I’m happy and I feel like I can take on the world and I’m getting so much done and Amelia’s great, and then all of a sudden I crash.
My anxiety gets me, I get sad 😞 I get down on myself and I’m back too a low place.
These waves are hard to ride. And it’s hard for me to type this all out and be so honest, but I feel like I need to break the constant filter on social. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a new mom and Amelia just steals my heart ♥️ but I’m having a hard time being me.
Everyone talks about what to do with the baby after you become a new mom, nobody tells you about you and how to be you? It’s Hard!
I smile because I’m a smiley person it’s genuine but there’s sadness sometimes behind my smile, there’s confusion, there’s a lot of emotion.
Which leads me to self care. I’m realizing more and more how important self care truly is.
Especially with how I’m feeling and how others must feel constantly.
Self care doesn’t have to be this grand thing.
I used to think by watching some of my friends, like oh I have to do this to my face every day, I have to go do this, and make this routine for self care and I realized it was just adding to my anxiety and stress of time in a day.
No self care is making yourself feel good at the end of the day and taking care of you.
It’s building yourself up inside and helping your mental state, whatever that may be for you.
A massage, a facial, your lash extensions, a makeup session, a walk, a run, a swim, a nap, getting your nails done, getting adjusted, a warm bath, whatever it is, it’s what makes you feel good and like YOU again.
This weekend, my hubby watched Amelia longer than normal. I like to go back and be with her after a few hours because even though I like my little break, I miss her and I want to get back to her. 😂 I laugh at myself cause it’s such a mind f*ck!!
Anyways, I went and got ready for my tv segment this week in Vegas. I’m nervous as is and then to be on camera 🎥 after feeling this way, I really needed a pick me up.
So I went to Tanvious to get an organic safe spray tan (sunless beauty tans) and get a nice natural glow from my girl Daniela.
Then I got my lashes done at amazing lash.
Lastly, I got my nails done 💅. After getting myself some what put together I felt like me for a little and felt good. When I got home I had to remind myself, it was ok I took the time. I shouldn’t feel guilty I was gone, I was taking time for me to be good for me but more important to be good for her. If I’m not good, then she’s not good. I have to keep reminding myself of that and keep pushing myself to self care.
I hope you mommas know you’re not alone in your feelings and it’s very normal.
And for those that aren’t mom’s yet or haven’t entered that journey, feeling these emotions even without a baby is normal.
Let’s normalize having feelings and not feeling ashamed for them. It’s life.
Oh and I’ll leave you with this, I recently heard “normal, is a setting on a washing machine” enough said right?
Thank you always for all the constant support I receive from my blog and all my social.
It’s incredible and I’m sending the love back.
Fashionably & emotionally yours,